In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. 3 Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 “Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’” 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.” 7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. 9 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. “Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. 11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.” 12 “No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her. 15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!” 16 “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.” But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” 18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. 20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman. 21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. Absalom Kills Amnon 23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there. 24 Absalom went to the king and said, “Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his attendants please join me?” 25 “No, my son,” the king replied. “All of us should not go; we would only be a burden to you.” Although Absalom urged him, he still refused to go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us.” The king asked him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king’s sons. 28 Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” 29 So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled. 30 While they were on their way, the report came to David: “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons; not one of them is left.” 31 The king stood up, tore his clothes and lay down on the ground; and all his attendants stood by with their clothes torn. 32 But Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “My lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom’s express intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. 33 My lord the king should not be concerned about the report that all the king’s sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead.” 34 Meanwhile, Absalom had fled. Now the man standing watch looked up and saw many people on the road west of him, coming down the side of the hill. The watchman went and told the king, “I see men in the direction of Horonaim, on the side of the hill.” 35 Jonadab said to the king, “See, the king’s sons have come; it has happened just as your servant said.” 36 As he finished speaking, the king’s sons came in, wailing loudly. The king, too, and all his attendants wept very bitterly. 37 Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son. 38 After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. 39 And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death.
Chapter 13 delves into some dark territory.
Chapter 13 opens with Amnon, son of David, falling in love with Tamar, his sister. He and Tamar have different mothers. Absalom is Tamar’s true brother (same mother). Amnon develops an insatiable lust for his sister and must have her. When he reveals this to Jonadab, instead of being rebuked by the king’s brother, Jonadab gives him a strategy to seduce her.
Amnon sets to work. He plays ill and only wants food from Tamar, and he arranges for her to cook for him through David. When she is making the bread for him, he lets everyone else go until he is alone with Tamar. Then he makes his move: “Come to bed with me my sister.” –2Sam 13:11. Tamar refuses, and gives Amnon a laundry list of reasons why this can’t happen, but Amnon refuses them all and rapes her.
Once the act is complete, Amnon is said to hate her more than he loved her (2Sam 13:15). He throws her out, despite Tamar’s opposition, and locks the door on her. Now stripped of her virginity, her most prized possession, she leaves, tearing her virginic robe and putting ash on her face. Absalom finds her and hides her away, telling her not to speak to anyone. She remains in Absolom’s house and Absalom plots his revenge against Amnon.
Two years pass and the brothers do not speak. And then, when the sheepshearing season rolls around, Absalom wants to invite David and all of his brothers to the festival. David says he cannot come, but Absalom is intent at inviting Absalom, raising David’s suspicions, but David relents and allows the brothers to come anyway.
Absalom already has a plan in motion and orders his men to kill Amnon after he is drunk. They do so, and a report goes back to David that all of his sons have died. But Jonadab, showing himself as an opportunist, is there to calm David’s fears and assure him that only Amnon has been killed.
Amnon is a study in lust. He calls it love, but as we move through this story we find that he is haggard “and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.” (2Sam 13:2). Amnon, aided by Jonadab, hatches a plan and ultimately rape his sister, and directly afterward we can see his true intention. With his lust satisfied, he doesn’t want to have anything else to do with her. He throws her out and is done. But there is a deeper issue here. It wasn’t just the act of rape, but taking Tamar’s virginity held deep implications for a woman in this culture. Virginity was prized and by her ornate robe, this was a signal that she was prepared and available for marriage. A non-virgin had almost no chance of marriage, and no marriage meant no children, and no marriage and no children meant no value in her society. Amnon’s impulsive, dastardly act showed surely no love and damned Tamar to a life of desolation (2Sam 13:20).
But in the first part of this chapter we start seeing the character of Absalom. He takes his sister but does not speak to his brother again. It seems like a righteous response, but when we look a little deeper into the family dynamic, we see a family not talking or even confronting sin and evil, but avoiding it. This may best be illustrated in verse 21 (When King David heard all this, he was furious.) Okay, that’s great, but the bigger question is why didn’t David do anything about it? It is one thing to be angry and another to take the proper action.
Verse 21 tells us something very provocative: Absalom waits two years before he contacts his brother. As Amnon hatched a plan to get his sister, Absalom hatches a plan to kill his brother. One thing we have to do is stop and ask ourselves the question of David: why hasn’t he brought Amnon to justice in two years? The understory of this chapter is that David, not directly involved in the treachery is nonetheless complicit. Nathan’s prophecy of 2Sam 12:10 is coming true. Absalom enlists his men to kill Amnon and they follow through, and as the report comes back that all of David’s sons have died, we see David distraught and ripping his garments. It seems weird that a bad report reaches David, but as we study scripture we often find that the strange stuff yields very interesting insights. Ask yourself this: why didn’t David question the report? There are two reasons. One: David realized that he was complicit in getting the sons there, at Absalom’s request. Two: David must have known Absalom was capable of such a thing. This is very telling again in the underlying character of Absalom. Perhaps he is making a power play against the sitting King by taking out the firstborn son.
Whatever the case, Absalom flees to Gesur, which is the kingdom where his mother came from. And we are left with a David who is a little more broken, who longs for his son, but still does not go to him. David, who is king, again is not living up to his kingship, and as we go back to the prophecy of Nathan we discover that the two sons independently have committed the same crimes as the father (sexual immorality and murder).