25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
In this section of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he outlines one of the most important concepts of the new testament: God’s plan for the family. More pointedly, how each person fits into the family dynamic, and when all of the members are living up to their mission, the family flourishes. In our times, we see an assault on the family that God says is the cornerstone of developing proper society.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
First, it is important to note the submission of both man and wife. First, the relationship with Christ must be the standard. Only then, is submission to one another proper. A spirit-filled life is marked by mutual submission. But it can only be truly effective if that submission to God happens first. This is a mindset that thinks of other first, cannot be self-seeking, and must be focused and happy about the others’ success. Our motivation for submission must be centered on Christ. We have to remember that once married, we cease to be an individual. We are melded with our mate, and the individualism that we grew accustomed to in our early years is now gone. Our submission, in this union, must be first because we love Jesus.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
This is a widely misunderstood and, frankly, abused pair of verses. Many men have used this as a way to keep their wife oppressed. When taking this verse out of context, it is easy to see how it can be maligned. These verses speak of the divine order in which God requires each person the family to be in. First, the wife is to submit to the husband. But the submission first needs to be based in the Lord. She submits to her husband out of love for the Lord. This does not mean inferiority. It means equality, but there are different jobs to do. In your work life, often times there is a department manager and many underlings. Of the many different jobs in the company, many of them are of equal importance. Production is not more important than Sales. Sales may argue that they bring in the money, but unless Production produces the product, there will be no sales. In effect, the jobs are different but of equal importance. At the end of the day, everyone does their job individually for the purpose of making the business succeed. It is the same in a marriage. There are 3 reasons why a wife should submit to her husband: 1.It is part of her obedience to Jesus 2.It is appropriate for the order of creation 3.It is the model of relationship between
Christ and His Church
In the Garden of Eden, Adam was first created. He was created in the wild tundra of creation and placed into the garden. Soon it became obvious that he was lonely, so a mate was constructed for him. Eve. In that, the husband (The man, Adam), is the leader of the household. For the women reading, this may be tough to reconcile. But let me share this with you: if the man doesn’t step into his role as leader, it is very difficult to follow. If the man doesn’t step into a loving relationship with God, then it is even harder. If the man chooses the path to God and leadership, then it is easier to follow his lead, right? That is what Paul is saying. As a woman, you need a man who is willing to step up and lead, and lead properly. It is the proper place for a man, and if he doesn’t step up, then how can you follow effectively?
When Paul says that a woman should submit to their husbands in everything, this can be another gut-punch. But again, if your husband is leading effectively, following God and His will, then will your husband be asking anything terrible? If he is following God and respecting the relationship, he has your best interests at heart. He wants you to succeed. If that isn’t the case, then should you submit to his demands? You are to submit out of love, but not out of ignorance. Submission is always based in God first, so if the demands are not for your well-being, then you have to go to God about it.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Just as a wife is supposed to submit to her husband out of her love for Jesus, husbands must love their wife with a deep, abiding love, just as Jesus loved the church. The word here for love is Agape, meaning instinctive, spontaneous, self-sacrificing. This is how we are to live, and if a husband doesn’t have his wife’s best interests at heart, then he is not performing his mission, and thus the crux of the problem. Christ had a special love for the church, a constant, enduring, hearty and unselfish love for the church. Husbands must take an active, caring interest in his wife and family’s spiritual health. Husbands cannot be effective leaders if we aren’t actively stepping into the role God wants us to be in. If we cannot take that role, then the wife will have trouble submitting. Because who can submit to someone who is not stepping up into the role they are supposed to take?